Monday, December 9, 2013

Holiday Contest Entry


The Task: Write a Children's Story about a Holiday Mishap

Enjoy all the entries HERE!
Then go back to VOTE Monday, December 16-18.


THIS IS THE TREE THAT JILL TRIMMED
by Laura Renauld

This is the tree that Jill trimmed.

This is the star that shone from the tree that Jill trimmed.

This is the cat that swatted the star
That shone from the tree that Jill trimmed.

This is the dog that leapt at the cat
That swatted the star that shone from the tree that Jill trimmed.

This is the boy that chased the dog
That leapt at the cat that swatted the star
That shone from the tree that Jill trimmed.

This is the twin with the mischievous grin
That tripped the boy that chased the dog
That leapt at the cat that swatted the star
That shone from the tree that Jill trimmed.

This is the Mom with patience so thin
That scolded the twin with the mischievous grin
That tripped the boy that chased the dog
That leapt at the cat that swatted the star
That shone from the tree that Jill trimmed.

This is the Dad with the dimpled chin
That soothed the Mom with patience so thin
That scolded the twin with the mischievous grin
That tripped the boy that chased the dog
That leapt at the cat that swatted the star
That shone from the tree that Jill trimmed.

This is the house full of holiday din
That cheered the Dad with the dimpled chin
That soothed the Mom with patience so thin
That scolded the twin with the mischievous grin
That tripped the boy that chased the dog
That leapt at the cat that swatted the star
That shone from the tree that Jill trimmed.

These are the memories created within
That warmed the house full of holiday din
That cheered the Dad with the dimpled chin
That soothed the Mom with patience so thin
That scolded the twin with the mischievous grin
That tripped the boy that chased the dog
That leapt at the cat that swatted the star
That shone from the tree that Jill trimmed.

(324 words)

34 comments:

  1. OMG.... love it! Funny, because I was contemplating a story after "house that Jack built" - glad I changed my mind, because I'm sure it would have paled in comparison! Great job - and tough, I know.

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  2. I really enjoyed your clever take on "the house that Jack built!" Well done!

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  3. LOL - the usual holiday chaos. I loved this story!

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  4. Super fun! Love, love, love cumulative stories.

    Imagine this as a rebus - belongs in Highlights!

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  5. Love it. Clever and funny!

    Keila

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  6. Well, well done, Laura! I absolutely love this! Happy Holidays to you and yours.- Donna Sadd :0)

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  7. Nice riff on a classic! Well done.

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  8. This is wonderful, Laura! So fun and clever. I love the final stanza. Great job!

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  9. Laura...what a fine take-off...so well done! Your rhymes are amazing...I just love it.:)

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  10. Oh, I really like this take on a classic. It works really well and even has a satisfying ending!

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  11. What a perfect way to mark the occasion! You make it look easy.

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  12. Lovely full of disaster poem....now for what Jack was doing?

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  13. great idea. I enjoyed reading it.

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  14. This is amazing, Laura. You didn't miss a beat. Well done!

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  15. Well done! This is a difficult pattern to pull off!

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  16. Wow! Great job, Laura! I love the happy holiday chaos - so true to life! - and that despite a bit of dog-cat-kid chasing they're really all having fun and creating holiday memories! Thanks for another strong contest entry! :)

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  17. Wonderful, wonderful job, Laura! I love it!

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  18. What a fun, cumulative story! Great job! :)

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  19. This is great! Laura! A winner for sure. :)

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  20. How did you make this look so easy?! Great job, Laura.

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  21. a delightful remake on the house that jack built, nicely done.

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  22. Laura, somehow I missed your post! What a great story, I love the remake ! Good luck! :)

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  23. Great adaptation for your story--and love the holiday chaos you capture!

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  24. You made really good choices here for your spin... and you really painted the picture of "holiday din." :)

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